How do we define fearless? Without dissemination, our instinctual or logical response is that it’s an absence of fear. We imagine a fearless person as one who does not feel or recognize the sensation of danger or risk, or who can readily suppress the agitation, or thrives on the adrenaline.
If you dig deeper, however, and ask any successful person what it means to be fearless, you will find that fear and the accompanying feelings of doubt and reflection were an integral part of their journey to success. The fear is not so much conquered as it is molded and employed as a catalyst of creativity and resourcefulness for highly successful individuals in the arts and business.
Fashion designer Rebecca Minkoff is one such individual. In fact, her best-selling book, Fearless: The New Rules For Unlocking Creativity, Courage, and Success, discusses this subject in depth with candid self-disclosure. The book was recently rereleased with a new chapter and additional insights on how to unleash your potential and find your voice in a world all too willing to hold you back, especially women.
‘I never set out to be a rule breaker. It’s just that the old rules weren’t working for me, so I had to go out and make my own.” Rebecca Minkoff
A native Californian who landed in New York at age 18 to pursue her fashion career, Minkoff first came to prominence when actress Jenna Elfman appeared on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno in her now iconic I Love New York t-shirt. Its success catapulted Minkoff into the fashion limelight, and by 2005, the Rebecca Minkoff leather and accessory brand officially launched, characterized by statement-making handbags in premium leather and distinctive hardware, which combined with a free-spirited, edgy-boho femininity, defined the New York “it girl.”
Now an international brand with retail stores worldwide and availability in major upscale department stores, the brand is recognized as a leader in fashion-forward, accessible luxury. Now celebrating their 20th year as a brand and the re-launch of her book, Minkoff has never lost sight of the risks she has taken and overcome as a designer and businesswoman, and the roadblocks she and many women face along the way. Last year, her decision to appear on a season of Real Housewives of New York was one of the biggest gambles she has taken in her career. I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Rebecca Minkoff, who was remarkably open, down to earth, and delightful to talk to, about her career challenges, confronting her fears, why she left RHONY, and yes, what makes a great handbag.
Millennium Magazine: How do you define fearless?
Rebecca Minkoff: First and foremost, the feeling of fear is hardwired into us to keep us safe, as a survival instinct. You know, like getting attacked by a bear or gored by a wild boar. Now, that situation is approximated by big life decisions, goals or changes. Being fearless is not that you have no fear. It’s that you proceed anyway, knowing that you’re still scared. That’s the focus of the book. You’re still going to be scared, but there are some key points to hang on to that will enable you to make the jump.
How does one get past the “fear” hurdle?
So first off, you’re not in danger. You’re not losing your life. The decision you’re making is hopefully not life-threatening, so what are the tools you can use to reframe what you are facing? For me, I always ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen if I fail?” If you can confront and survive that, then take the punch.
What if the possible outcome is potentially disastrous?
Then it’s a very different conversation with yourself. If it’s, “Well, I’d lose my house, and I couldn’t care for my children,” then by all means, don’t make that decision. That’s where I like to set people up and make sure that they’re thinking about it in a way that actually can support the decision being made.
Did you have someone growing up who encouraged you to be fearless, or was it something you acquired just as you went through life and your career?
I think for me, it was all about my mom tasking me with the idea of if you want it, then how do you earn it, and how do you figure it out for yourself.
So I think a lot of this “fearlessness” comes from the fact that I don’t have this, I guess, a fear of, “How do I figure it out?” I know how to learn, and I know how to figure out what I don’t know. So that leaves me with a certain level of security that if I lost everything, I know that I would figure out how to do something else or start over or rebuild.
Do you still face challenges when it comes to fear or being worried? Do you still have moments when you have to talk yourself out of being scared?
Oh, for sure. I feel like you’re never going to not be scared of big changes. I think it happens all the time. It’s just I now know enough that I sort of go through my own, “Okay. What’s the worst that can happen? Can you tolerate that? If this fails, what would you learn from it? Is the risk worth the reward? Am I delusional in thinking the outcome is all going to be great?” And so weighing those options is something I’ve trained myself to do so that I go in with eyes wide open.
What made you decide to do Real Housewives of New York? What did you think you would gain from the experience?
For me, it was a couple of different reasons. The press made it sound like I had one reason, which is not true. There were many. As a company, we’ve always taken risks to be in front of our customers, which was considered a grave mistake early on. There was a velvet rope you were supposed to stand behind. So I think that when you look at it, it enabled us to have a deeper connection with our customers, which is how I run my business today. So when the opportunity for Real Housewives of New York came along, I thought it was an opportunity for my customer to see another side of me, not what they edited me to be. I thought, “Oh, wow, my customer’s going to see a successful woman that’s made it despite insane challenges, who’s happily married, a mother of four, and who gives back to women.”
Is the decision something you regret?
Maybe I should have been less naive. But that’s really what I believed going in. I said to myself, “This is great. We’re celebrating our 20th anniversary, and viewers are going to join us on this journey with me as a company and brand.” So yes, I have a successful brand, but who’s the person? Let’s let people get to know the woman. So those were the kinds of things I thought through while making my decision. Not all of those things happened in the way I hoped or imagined. I was pitched something different, but they kept to their old format. But as I say in my book, sometimes you win, and sometimes you learn, and I don’t regret it. But I had an experience that if I’d known at the beginning what the outcome would look like, I probably would not have done it.
What do you feel is your final takeaway from the experience?
I think it’s not often when you run a business for 20 years, achieve great success, and then become very humbled by how badly you can be treated. I learned a lot from that.
Despite being treated unfairly, did you still receive support from loyal customers?
Yes! Many said to me, “However they’re portraying or editing you, we still love you. We’re still here.” When I announced that I was not coming back, the outpouring of love and support was incredible. And a lot of people reassured me. “You don’t need that. We love you, and we didn’t care about that.” So that was very nice to hear.
Is it better to have a handbag for every outfit, or do you just need a few great handbags that take you from day to evening?
I’m going to say, because I’m me, that you need a great handbag for every occasion. I realize that’s not every woman’s possibility. I think it’s best if you invest in a great tote, a great backpack, a great cross-body, a mid-sized bag, and a clutch. With those five bags, you’re set up. But I also think that the fun part about trends and having an affordable price point bag is that, hopefully, you can buy a bag each season that allows you to play with whatever is going on. One that makes you feel confident in your personal style.
So what makes a great bag?
I think a bag should be part of whatever is going on in fashion, but should also stand the test of time. Timeless but fashion-forward. That’s the recipe that every designer is looking for. You don’t always hit it out of the park. I’d say our Edie bag is a good example of that. We know most women cannot afford a Chanel bag, and while the Edie is not meant to duplicate it, it does have some of its features. It can be cross-body. It can be a purse. You can tuck in the straps. It can be an oversized clutch. It’s very versatile. Women love quilted bags in leather that is not painted or flakes off. We use only high-quality materials, which is important to us. What is also really important for me is that you’re not noticed because of the plaque on your bag. You’re not announcing how much you spent by wearing one of my bags. You just look stylish. You look put together. You look chic. And I think that I try and make it so that the bag enhances a woman, but isn’t the focus of the woman.
What’s next for the Rebecca Minkoff brand?
This year is all about celebrating our 20th anniversary. We just came off a really fun collaboration with Aaron Andrews. We have another one in the works for the fall. We’re having fun launching this book again and celebrating what a lot of people don’t get to celebrate, which is 20 years.
In conclusion, I wanted to personally thank you for your recent social media posts about the rise in antisemitism.
Thank you for noticing. It’s really an interesting time right now, and I can’t even believe I had to post those things. I guess all of our little troubles are pretty small in comparison. It definitely puts life into perspective.
– Photography by Ruben Chomarro