Well-intentioned people will tell their single friends that finding the “one” is a numbers game. Those on the receiving end of that advice feel those numbers parallel the odds of winning the “Power Ball” lottery. Others fed up with the brutal dating landscape, attest the odds will never be in their favor. Although many dating coaches advise clients to quit complaining and just “get out there,” and others encourage them to settle, compromise, and adjust their attitude, high-profile dating coach Nelly Sudri takes a more pragmatic approach to finding the elusive perfect mate.
Sudri believes numbers don’t lie. The star of the Roku series ‘Match Me in Miami’ and title holder of the “#1 Dating Coach for High-Value™ Women & Men has 900,000 followers on TikTok and Instagram combined, 20 million likes for her dating advice and how-to videos across social media worldwide, and a strategic mind strengthened through her previous career as the youngest sales manager at a Fortune 500 company. Prior to that, Sudri earned a B.S. in Communications from the University of Miami in 2017, she earned her master’s degree in Conflict Resolution & Negotiation from Columbia University with Summa Cum Laude honors in 2021.
With mediation, conflict resolution, and negotiation being as important in interpersonal relationships as they are in business dealings, it made perfect sense to pivot from the corporate world to the dating scene while still in the midst of earning her degrees. In a short period of time, she built a client roster for her dating coaching and matchmaking that includes celebrities, c-suite executives, and high-net-worth individuals—the very people you would think would have no trouble finding quality mates—she wants to spread that knowledge to people from all walks of life.
While her videos on social media have done a lot of the heavy lifting, she has now launched “The Datrix,” a card game presenting a quantifiable approach to predicting success among couples, focusing on the relationship between chemistry and compatibility. We caught up with Sudri as she continues to find new ways for clients and followers to gain the kind of self-awareness, critical thinking, and strategies required to win the love lottery.
Millennium: What are some of the lessons you learned in the CPG space that you found to be transferrable to matchmaking, for you and for your clients to internalize to improve their dating habits and luck finding the right people?
Nelly Sudri: Working in sales at a Fortune 500 CPG company definitely taught me a lot about how to sell to customers, which has benefited me tremendously as a matchmaker. This is because even though much of my work involves setting people up, a lot of my day-to-day is selling my matchmaking services, which like my corporate job, requires me to understand my customers’ needs, explain what my packages include, and ultimately persuade them into becoming a client.
I also worked in marketing for the company prior to sales, which has been useful in my current business. It taught me how to effectively brand and advertise my courses. Leveraging my marketing background has also assisted me in creating promotional materials to support my matchmaking packages and coaching offers.
Millennium: Although one would think celebrities, executives, and high-net-worth individuals would have an easier time finding quality partners, what are some pitfalls they fall into that average people would find surprising?
Nelly Sudri: Typically the more High-Value™ a single gets, the pickier and less flexible they get when it comes to who they want to match with. This is because they tend to seek people who are lifestyle compatible, which can be challenging as they lead luxurious lifestyles…or at minimum, people who add value to their life, which can be challenging to find when someone has access to so much. This is especially the case for women, as they tend to be hypergamous, meaning they prefer “dating up.”
For example, I worked with a female CEO who had sold her business for eight figures and wanted a man who was financially on her level or above, and who was not intimidated by her success. The pool gets smaller when you are successful, which makes it more difficult to find those diamonds in the rough. I’ve also worked with many men who are millionaires and have observed many tend to have what I call “George Clooney syndrome,” which essentially means they won’t settle until they find perfection.
Millennium: How does private coaching further customize the process of helping clients help themselves in terms of their etiquette choices above and beyond finding the right people?
Nelly Sudri: I always compare dating coaching to personal training. You can watch and read all the fitness and nutrition material that you want, but if you’re not actually implementing it correctly (or at all), or having someone hold you accountable at the gym and provide you with guidance on your form, you may not reach the results you want. It’s no different in dating! Having someone like me tell you how to date, how to act around your crush, where to meet higher quality singles, and position yourself as the best version of yourself so that you can stop chasing and start attracting, is why my clients have seen tremendous results! I have tons of testimonials crediting me to people getting married, starting their IVF journeys, and finding the love they’ve been craving through my advice.
Millennium: As your degree is in Conflict Resolution & Negotiation, what are some of the most applicable principles involved in dating that would apply to anybody looking to find a soulmate?
Nelly Sudri: “Know what you bring to the table” and “Know your worth” are common phrases you hear from people who give dating advice. I would argue that they also are common phrases you hear when negotiating anything in life, which is why I opted to pursue a degree in negotiation. Dating for a life partner is a process that, at its core, involves bargaining in the dating marketplace for the best catch.
My background in conflict resolution and meditation is applicable to the advice I provide as many singles often struggle to understand or resolve their dating issues. There can be power dynamics at play when dating, and my degree has provided me with solutions that I can share. Also, the concept of masculine versus feminine is something I learned about in my degree, which I often reference in my coaching.
Millennium: How have you applied your knowledge as well as your experience as the youngest sales manager at a Fortune 500 company to develop your business plan and your large following on social media?
Nelly Sudri: Totally! I have applied bits of my experience from my previous career as well as every job I’ve had prior to my social media growth. For one, I think having the ability to effectively communicate in a concise manner is something I leverage daily, especially because the majority of my content is short-form videos.
I used to do social media for brands in college and worked in marketing for a few corporations, which has helped me with my own! For example, I created all my personal branding, website design, integrations, and marketing materials. At one point in college, I worked in customer service for an insurance company too, which taught me how to leverage vocal tonality over the phone, something I lean on a lot today! Much of my business involves cold calling and pitching potential customers over the phone so understanding how to connect with people that way has been advantageous.
Millennium: Why is Miami, Florida a perfect setting for your show? Do you see Miami as a microcosm of the United States, or are there some elements specific to Miami’s dating scene that are something everybody can learn from?
Nelly Sudri: Miami is diverse, sexy, warm, and filled with beautiful people everywhere you go, making it both difficult and interesting for dating! It’s a major US city but still has a small feel and a ton of culture packed into it, making it a cool place for viewers to experience over the screen. I think Miami is extremely unique compared to other US cities due to its heavy Latin influence, nightlife culture, and glamor, but people can still relate to it because it’s a tough city to date in!
Millennium: Many people changed careers in 2020 during the pandemic for a variety of reasons—including the quiet time providing an opportunity to determine what career and lifestyle was best for them. Is this true for you?
Nelly Sudri: I didn’t set out to change my career, it happened organically. Posting advice videos on TikTok and growing my community was a hobby of mine for the first year and didn’t become a profitable income source until my second year into it. I just knew I loved connecting with others, coaching people, and that it felt right. Quitting my job was terrifying but I listened to my gut and that’s why I was able to make the leap.
Millennium: What are some new challenges with dating that you observed coming out of the pandemic that were common to many of your clients?
Nelly Sudri: The pandemic was a wake-up call for many singles as it left many people lonely, isolated and questioning their life choices. A lot more people also turned to dating apps during the pandemic, which led to a lot more dependency on digital communication and connectivity rather than in-person ones. I think this made people crave in-person dating experiences more post-pandemic as a result.
Millennium: Did these reasons differ between men and women?
Nelly Sudri: I’m hesitant to paint a broad stroke over either gender but think dating challenges can be observed by generation. For example, I think ghosting and casual relationships became more prevalent throughout the pandemic, which was unfamiliar particularly for older singles. This is because many singles were previously accustomed to traditional dating styles.
Millennium: Can The Datrix be useful for single people who have a lot to offer a partner but have trouble attracting/holding onto a good person?
Nelly Sudri: I believe there are two necessary ingredients that must be present for a relationship to stand the test of time – chemistry & compatibility. Often people confuse the two or try to ignore one while thinking they’ll be able to change their partner with time. Seeing this in my coaching, I wanted to create a way to expedite this process, help people break the ice on dates, and invent something that sparked connectivity between couples. That is how the Datrix (dating matrix) was born!
The Datrix is a dual-deck card game: One deck offers questions that pertain to compatibility, and the other on chemistry. It walks players through a series of topics ranging from their views on marriage, religion, politics, etc. so they can get to know each other better and quicker. It also allows them to measure their compatibility and chemistry and ultimately produces a “Datrix” score that will help them predict the strength of their connection. It’s a great gift for single friends and couples as it can be played on dates or used even as flashcards to help prep for one beforehand!
Millennium: How have your business and your business model benefitted your private/personal/social life?
Nelly Sudri: Absolutely. My social media is the engine that fuels my business as it’s the entry point for my products and services. My social media presence and brand are also how I was discovered by a casting director so it has opened up many professional relationships for me. I’ve also made so many friends through my social media, which has been great!
Millennium: Do you see your videos, social media channels, and the game as a way average people can benefit from your knowledge?
Nelly Sudri: Definitely! I think no matter what one’s socio-economic level is, many singles can benefit from the same overarching message, which is to stop chasing and start attracting. I have made so many videos over the years but my main theme throughout them is manifesting love.
Millennium: Which of your videos do you feel are worth repeat viewings?
Nelly Sudri: I have a whole course around this topic alone, called “Manifesting Mr. Right,” which offers 12 modules for single women looking to meet High-Value™ men (www.ask-nelly.co). There is a free 30-minute video on that exact website on how to master feminine energy to attract men, which I would suggest to any single woman reading to check out!